One Big Obstacle I Had 2 Faced In 2005 That Made Me A Stronger Person

I had this one very disturbed, emotional roller-coaster, self-praised and proclaimed religious ex-colleague by the name intial of NMbMI. I found one of those 'psychotic expressed' emails in my old inbox. Read on..and tell me wat u think after that..
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Confide in my son about my workplace. How people ostracize his mother....

Norazlina, as for being an Executive Officer. Only those with degrees hold such job title. For "N", 'O', Diploma Holder WE are still EA grade 1,2,3,4 or 5. Executive title was given to EA such as diploma holders and years of service. I would like to reiterate that educational level alone doesn't make you a better person than an EA who has serve years in YM. You should acknowledge them for their capabilities, endurance, perseverance, dedication, resilience, experience, tolerance not EDUCATIONAL LEVEL alone.

My apologies if you find my email direct. I had tolerated such talks far too long. You know that I don't like to be a hypocrite. If you regard me as friend please give a thought or two on the above. Macam mana pandai pun kita ALLAH tarik satu urat kita and that's the end of us.

My moral have been very low for the longest time. I ve been looking for job but unsuccessful. Now I know why drug addicts can't change. Yes, my emotions and outburst are my setbacks.................but have anybody ever wonder why?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

This looney fellow was always unhappy. ALWAYS UNHAPPY. Dunno why.. Suka nak bersyarahan tapi diri sendiri tak de control. Mulut tak control, perangai tak control, gerak geri mata dia pun tak di control. Munafik kan tu namanya. Hmm.. we all know that she had series of abusive experience from her late dad and ex-hubby. Not that we are kpo and tanya BUT she herself yang bilang. Dunno for what also..Anyway, Too bad la.. tat's just her life. But hey but not everyone's life is as rosy either ok.. And just because she has some insecurity issues, unhappy marital in the past, low morale (i didnt say so.. she said it herself in her email ah) doesnt mean other ppl's happy life ought to be shortlived or destroyed too like hers. And certainly we dun need ppl like her around if she was to only create unhappiness and 4ever instigating fights. Macam mana nak tolong masyarakat kalau diri sendiri tak ter-urus.

She was pissed and hated the way I carry myself confidently at work. I live by the principle of "Never say Die" and by my corporate's mission .. always working towards forefront of excellence. She wasnt happy with that attitude i have.. So wat.. as if i care.. Not my problem anyway if u hve issues with that. You either join me or be what you are now still in the years to come.

She labeled me b4 directly at my face saying back in 2005 "You dah lupa darjat ke.. U are just an EA. U do not have a degree" i retorted saying "I have goals and aims.. I tell myself I am in an organisation that believes in excellence, so to help others towards excellence, I have to upgrade myself first... I have to achieve higher.. I wanna make sure that happen and with God's will, I believe it WILL HAPPEN".

Apparently, my reply got her pissed too.. sigh.. (anyway once again.. not my problem).

Thanks to that desire to move higher and achieve better, I hve successfully attained my long awaited Bachelor Honors in Mass Communications. Graduated with First Class Honours lagi... SYUKUR ALHAMDULILLAH kepada Allah swt, family members, close friends, Mentors and especially my hubby for that success. Couldnt have done it without their support and doas. And my aim to be an EO in my organization, tercapai pun. Many of those fellow EAs who had gotten her darn email came and told me personally to call her and then tell her of my success. Hmm.. tak payah la kakak-kakak sekalian.. Biar dia dengar or check sendiri. I noe she has some frens still in YM and i am sure they must have told her.. Oh well.. tak kuasa i...

Hmm... where ever you are NMbMI, may GOD forgive you and your sins for making my mentor's and my life a hell in 2005. Allah maha besar... and he knows what is best for individuals... not you.

Hmm... and guess what, my next aim is to start MBA in 2009.

Missing Missing Missing .....

I was reading Dorcus' blog when I suddenly have the urge to wanna update my blog with pictures taken in Liverpool last year... So there I was, updating them one by one while chatting with Leny & Sarah who happened to be online as well.

Spoken to many ex LJMU mates even from malaysia like LeeLian and she too mentioned she misses UK. Haiz... i guess it is just those time when we are hit by the blues.. hehehe....

My Partners In Crime.... many crimes.. heheh

I don't drink alcohol. Just need pure Apple Juice & I am drunk enuff.. Ooops I am 'tispy' ..heheh

Leny's Birthday Kidnapped! (berat jugak ini anak!)

Jennifer & I while Dorcus & Balee .. walking by the clubs & pubs.

The crazy things we do for fun... I bet Mr Henry Cotton enjoyed that moment with us..

One Night In The Park After a Movie

Doing the YMCA

FRIENDS... Neh... there ARE my extended family.

Doing what we do best...

Ms "mual nggak kalian?"

A few more fond memories of June to Sept 2007

Just outside Uni's main door..


LJMU compound. Where we all would be caught by Lord Baldemort loitering when it's high time to go to class... hahah


Aldham Robarts LJMU Library. I know this sounds like only a nerd would say but truly, I love this place...


Chill and R&R after lecture once again...


With a new found summer fling.. hahaha


Enjoying a street performance by those two seen behind and making random friends here.


R&R by Anglican Cathedral after lecture.


Posing beside a catchy board beside NANDOS.. Hell yeah, i missed that restaurant.


After Orientation Day by LJMU in a hotel in the City.

Walking down Memory Lane...

Great Crosshall Street.... Here lies our great MaryBone Project aparments....and many fond memories.


ODEON Cineplex
The place where I get my dosages of entertainment when I faced blues or boredom.


At LFC boutique in the city


Liverpool Football Club.
I am here with Leny.


Colorful people on the streets of Liverpool.


The bombed church I'll walked past everyday to school.


Liverpool City
Missing every bit of this place...


"Hello there.. to LJMU please.. near the Anglican Cathedral.."


"Hello there.. you've got any change?" from the HomeLess.


Albert Dock
What I could remember about this place was....constructions and constructions everywhere. Also, freaking coooooooold .. burrr there... hehehe.

God why is it so difficult ?

GOD, all I ever hope & pray for to you is blessing me with a new break
GOD, Why is it so difficult .....
Its miserable and still is miserable GOD..

My tiny prayers such as getting your assistance to get me a taxi
Getting a parking lot without having to wait or search for more than 8 minutes
They were all answered. Answered fast.
Most times, faster than I could even complete repeating the prayers for the third time. But, GOD why not this one?

GOD, neither Hasan nor my parents understand how I feel.
GOD, neither my colleagues nor my good mates feel the misery.
My spirit has began to dampen...
My zest has began to decline.....
GOD.... I seek peace ONLY with you.

The game of pretence is so great in there.
Should I be in ... or Should I be out...
GOD, that someone I seek solace with.. IS in that game.
Sounds of Alternate+Tabs hiding the many non-related-work screens
Then comes dozing off in-between , hidden behind the walls and chasis.

The "I am busy", "I can't breathe" & "I got so much things" ..
GOD knows they are abso-fucking-lutely lies...
I sure can play the game guys.. just as well as yours.
And pretending to believe that all hearts are united and dedicated...
Abso-fucking-lutely lies.

I want it out GOD !
I want to live! With sincere zests and positivity....
GOD the almighty, nothing goes amiss from your eyes
GOD, I beg you for mercy ....
Spare me from the misery and bless me with IT.

GOD, my apologies for sounding as though I am not thankful.
I am, Truly. You know that cause nothing can be hidden from you. Nothing.

GOD, I will be patient and yes, will continue to pray.
GOD, I will continue to hope and await fondly for THAT day.

That day that would craft a smile to my face.
That day that would made me say 'YES!"
That day that would spell h-a-p-p-i-n-e-s-s.
That day ... that day.....
I believe and feel, is reaching me slowly,
Insya Allah, then nothing can be in my way.


AMEEN,,,

Mr Wagiman Jumadi

This man here with that cheeky wink is dearest dad - Mr Wagiman Jumadi.

Love him to bits....

He used to be very stern but always motivating me to be at my best. I remembered in the past, when I was way younger that he could made me and brothher cry within seconds. Once I refused to share a dish with my mom and insisted to order my own food; my favourite Beehoon Hongkong. I wasn't able to finish it in the end. And so he gave me that stern look and warning that made me cried and cried all the way home. Hahaha... of course, I was spared and lesson learnt. Hehehe.

He was always pampering me with anything I want. But of course, I don't take advantage of him la.. When I was 18 years old, he bought me an Ericsson handphone at a price of $888. That was to reward me for successfully attaining my Diploma. I was alittle tomboyish when younger.. so all my wants and wishes were toys and gadgets of which a boy would want. Mom used to bicker with dad for buying them .. but Dad always had his way to shut her. So there , I got my skateboard, rollerblades (which my mom gave them away to karang-guni when i got married.. sigh!), my first Mountain Bikes... Woooah...

Dad has been a stroke patient for more than say 11 years. He got hit by stroke in the first year Hasan & I get to know one another. I am not sure about others but I am truly affected by his illness. Oh well.. this is all God's plan.

Hmmm.. there are too many good stuff to write about him ....but really.. all tat matters is I love him alot. I have never forget to pray and read Al-fatehah for dad and mom for their well-being. Insya Allah, God would bless him (and of course mom) for all the good things and the sacrifices he (they) made for us.

Ameen.

If I could tell ...

If there is one thing I would like to say to someone in the organisation, it would be:

"The key to successful leadership....is influence, NOT authority".
[By Kenneth H Blanchard]

But I guess that someone wouldn't bother to listen and would rather continue to sleep it off... Don't you think we all don't know...

City of possibilities and city of rude citizens

Singapore has been decribed as a city of possiblities...

City that offers opportunities and riding the waves of globalisation...

But did they include that Singapore is a city of rude citizens ???

Did they? Did they?

Sigh ...I had a few incidents that really pissed me to the core.

Allow me to share them with you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1st Incident: In bus 966 at Still Rd before Marine Parade (on my way to work):

A chinese lady looked like she had awaken abruptly only to noticed "shittt... its my stop here".

So like "siao char-bo" she ran to exit at the centre door of the bus. Upon being there, she noticed her EZlink was card missing.

She also noticed that she was the last person standing by the door and the whole bus was waiting for her. So she ran and gave many people including myself hard knocks while making her way back to her seat to see if she had left it there.... To her fucking horror, it wasnt there... then she stood there for seconds like 'duhh" .. She suddnly dashed by the exit door again and checked her bag again. Ahhh.. there it was her EZlink card was still in her bag... BODOH punya chabor!!

She exit the bus without even saying thank you to the bus driver for waiting ... and say sorry to us all for the held up.. she dashed down and laff her ass off ... I bet she must be thinking to herself.. "Aiyah.. wat a luck... paiseh paiseh.."

We all understand that stuff like that does happen but at least have the sense of humanity to say sorry and thank you la... Bloody hell... If I am allowed to beat someone, I would have kicked her butt out of the bus man..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2nd incident: At the foot of my block (on my way up after seeing the doctor):

This week, I wasn't in my best of health. Felt freaking giddy and just wanted to be home and lie down as soon as possible. I got into the lift... as I was about to press the close door button, I saw a chinese man walking towards the direction of the lift. He was about 9 metres away.

I signalled to him if he wants me to wait... he replied with a slide nodd. So i tot, ok la... lets wait for him . Won't take long. He then stepped in. I asked him "What floor u heading too?" He ignored me and sort of bang the level 11 button. I was like "Duhh.. wat the fcuk?" Before he turned to position his body to face the lift door, he gave me a hard rude stare. He didnt even said "THANK YOU" for waiting... yet he snapped at me with that look.. "Siao ta-po"!!!

Bloody hell.. how i wish to grab the forks in his plastic bag and poked his eyeballs.

So Rude.. Bloody Rude..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3rd incident: Boarded the MRT from Woodlands to Yishun to meet darling Iriz for dinner and movie...

A malay family family had boarded the train from Admiralty. This is the typical non educated boisterous malay family where mother is hyper producing and so was her teenage daughter.

Mother : Fat, without tudung. Pushing a prambulator where two children (aged less than a year old and 3 years old) were in it. Its the sort where the children sat in front of each other. Another boy around 9 years old was with her.

Her teenage daughter was pushing another prambulator with a little girl aged say 5 years old. Her husband looked pretty young too. Both I dare say.. teenagers still of age 18 or 19 years old. Husband and wife had like spokes on their faces and tattoos... Mother and that 9yrs old boy sat at the end of the carriage...(U noe those two seats at the corner of each carriage).. while her teenage daughter and son in law sat at the centre of the seats.. not far la from them.

That 9 years old boy was minding his business and would rather stand then seat.. i guess to look at the view as the train moved on. The mother, her voiced was as loud as a thunder. She kept scolding the 3 yrs old boy who simply wouldnt sit still. I agree that that little boy is a hyper active boy.

"EH bodoh, tak tahu duduk diam eh.. Aku terajang kan"

(translates to: Hey stupid, don't u noe how to seat still. I slap u hard then u noe")

At one point, the little boy was sort of sucking his own collar and this women said loudly..."

Eh.. kenapa ni.. makan baju.. Kau da kebuluran eh..Alamak ... bodoh betul la kau ni.."

(Eh, what's wrong with you.. eating ur clothes eh.. You freaking hungry or wat.. alamak.. stupid aren't you?"

Then the 9yrs old boy wanted to seat beside her mother, only got to hear his mom scolding and pushing him off..

" Eh kau pergi berambus dari sini.. pergi duduk tempat lain.. Eeee. Rimas aku.. "

(Eh get the hell away from here.. go choose a different seat.. Eeee. i feel so stifled...)

Alamak.. i so paiseh man standing there observing people from the carriage looking at this Malay family. I myself shook my head and had the urge to tell her.. is this how u speak to children.. my god, how impolite your language was with them... But found myself.. keeping mum and still shaking my head.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sigh... I dunno what to say about some Singaporeans.. (slapped my forehead). They are becoming more rude and insolent man.. No more respect or sense of shame towards others.

I remembered when I was little, we had numerous "Courtesy Campaign" and even without the campaign, the words such as 'thank you', 'sorry' seemed natural to everyone. And to even talked loudly or act boiserously is something embarrassing to do in public.

What is happening to Singaporeans ???

What Should I do ?

6.07pm, 23 May 2008.
Got a called yesterday.
A job offer.
Lecturer of Mass Communications.

Hmmm...strangely, I am not thrilled to receive the news at all. And I am not sure of what to do next...

One of my besties, Jennifer Anne said "The title sounds great however, the offered remuneration isn't that fantastic".

I have had higher and better offers before. Somehow, I believe with my exeperience and educational attainments, I deserve better. Hmmm.. on the hindsight, if I wish to embark on a new careerpath, this would aptly be a good opportunity.

Hmmmm... shoot... what should my next move be...

Yesterday noon, in my prayers to GOD, I did a silent prayer for HIM to bless me with a better career just before I left the office for a meeting. In the evening, I received this offer. Hmmm..

Khamsiah shared the same sentiments as Jennifer Anne. She opined it to be one of those temptations GOD purposely surfaced for me so that I can make better judgment.

Shoot... Oh dear GOD, if only the answer is so much direct .... I have up to MONDAY to think about it... Hmmm.. I hope by then, GOD has helped to guide me to an answer/decision ...