God why is it so difficult ?

GOD, all I ever hope & pray for to you is blessing me with a new break
GOD, Why is it so difficult .....
Its miserable and still is miserable GOD..

My tiny prayers such as getting your assistance to get me a taxi
Getting a parking lot without having to wait or search for more than 8 minutes
They were all answered. Answered fast.
Most times, faster than I could even complete repeating the prayers for the third time. But, GOD why not this one?

GOD, neither Hasan nor my parents understand how I feel.
GOD, neither my colleagues nor my good mates feel the misery.
My spirit has began to dampen...
My zest has began to decline.....
GOD.... I seek peace ONLY with you.

The game of pretence is so great in there.
Should I be in ... or Should I be out...
GOD, that someone I seek solace with.. IS in that game.
Sounds of Alternate+Tabs hiding the many non-related-work screens
Then comes dozing off in-between , hidden behind the walls and chasis.

The "I am busy", "I can't breathe" & "I got so much things" ..
GOD knows they are abso-fucking-lutely lies...
I sure can play the game guys.. just as well as yours.
And pretending to believe that all hearts are united and dedicated...
Abso-fucking-lutely lies.

I want it out GOD !
I want to live! With sincere zests and positivity....
GOD the almighty, nothing goes amiss from your eyes
GOD, I beg you for mercy ....
Spare me from the misery and bless me with IT.

GOD, my apologies for sounding as though I am not thankful.
I am, Truly. You know that cause nothing can be hidden from you. Nothing.

GOD, I will be patient and yes, will continue to pray.
GOD, I will continue to hope and await fondly for THAT day.

That day that would craft a smile to my face.
That day that would made me say 'YES!"
That day that would spell h-a-p-p-i-n-e-s-s.
That day ... that day.....
I believe and feel, is reaching me slowly,
Insya Allah, then nothing can be in my way.


AMEEN,,,